Whenever someone approaches me with an open statement of “It must be difficult raising a child with a disability,” I gladly say with a smile across my face and a firm, impassioned tone: “No, you see, God and I go through this journey together and its one that I’m feeling blessed to embrace and encounter.”
I learned that God places a thorn on a rose not to stick you for attempting to hold the rose but due to the delicacy of the rose. You must handle the rose with care — you see, God loved me enough to place one of his own precious roses in my care and I say thank you always, for this rose is a blessing, never a burden.
To attempt to help people understand this unique experience is to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this: I’ve learned to thank God for every trial because I’ve learned that there is an expiration date for everything — meaning trouble, disappointment and letdowns.
Learning this valuable lesson that life has taught me, I embrace my precious grandson named Jasir Emmanuel Sadler born around 6 p.m. Feb. 27, 2010 weighing 6 pounds and 13 ounces.
Well now, let’s get to the unique experience of raising a child with a disability. When you’re going to have a baby it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans to visit the coliseum, the statue of David and so forth. You may learn a few handy phrases in the Italian language. It’s a very exciting time planning for your trip.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives for your trip to Italy. You packed your bags and count down to take off to get to the airport for the fabulous trip you’ve planned. You get on board, take your seat, fasten your seat belt and get comfortable for the ride ahead with such anticipation that you’ve got butterflies, you’re sweating and nervous with excitement.
Several hours later the plane lands and the stewardess come across the loudspeaker and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?” you say. “What do you mean Holland? I signed up for a trip to Italy. I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing that you must understand and embrace is they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place that you didn’t ever think of going to at all in your life.
So now you must go out and buy new guide books. You must dress a little differently then what you’ve packed for and learn a whole new language. You will meet a whole new group of people you would’ve have never meet otherwise if your plans hadn’t been changed.
You might even feel a certain way only because you had no intention of making the change. You see, the change was neither in the cards nor even in your control. But you now feel blessed to know that only special people are allowed to understand the true beauty of this newfound place where you’ve ended up.
It’s just a different place. It’s a little slower-paced and less flashy then Italy, but after you’ve been there for a while and catch your breath, you look around and begin to embrace the uniqueness that it holds and the peace that it renders to you. You see, once you’ve taken this journey, you add your spirituality and it becomes awesome. You now understand the peace of God.
I did and do understand the peace that passes all understanding. Then there’s the peace in God to worship my own way that I didn’t embark on or never dreamed I would embrace and encounter. To worship my way to God’s presence no matter the difficulties I face or the issues I don’t understand.
I can and do get over and through in peace. Then there’s the peace with God — this is the carnal part of nature that conflicts me with God, no longer hiding from issues I don’t understand in me or questioning why or how. But seeking a reverence of total thanks and praise, thanking him for entrusting me with one of his precious own roses to care after.
You see, I love roses and now learned that the thorns are placed to protect the flower from bruising and mishandling. You use care with it because it’s delicate, but strong enough to endure you handling it. The rose gives off a strong fragrance that permeates the room.
Now you notice the windmills Holland has to offer and the beautiful tulips in a rainbow of colors. I now understand the reason for the thorns is protection —me around the rose of my grandson Jasir.
I walked differently within my spiritual journey and understand that God makes no mistakes. If not, I wouldn’t get the satisfaction of being and feeling so blessed to share this story of change with you in Holland.
Now, everyone you know may be speaking of their trip to and from Italy. What a wonderful time they had there. And you may even say “Yes, I was supposed to go there, but my plans changed.” The pain may even hit you a little because a change without permission is a life-changing event.
I have learned not to allow past pain to direct my future plans, but I use it to help me to get to the core of my inner being of peace in who I am and who I love.
Embrace the new flight path, knowing it was all in the plans of a higher planner and calling on your life.
So I tell you, if you mourn over the fact that you didn’t choose the trip to Holland, you may never be totally able to feel the complete blessing and special love that your Holland has to offer.
In my case, my Holland is Jasir Emmanuel Sadler. I also have four other grandchildren: Javish Bennett, Terique Bennett, Justice Edwards and Serenity Burge.
Studies show that there are 3.2 million special-needs children born in this world. This means that one out of three children is born autistic or with special needs.
The Rev. T.D. Jakes’ church out of Texas, the Potters House, is especially supportive of special-needs children. The church is actually building a center for these precious babies God has allowed in our lives as presents.
That is what these children are — presents. I am so proud to say I have one. l have hit the jackpot, no doubt about it.
I understand that my praise doesn’t always fit my situation, but I know “God has got this!” This is a faith walk; I know God is with me and even when I can’t trace him, I trust him. People may end up questioning you because they do not see it. However, I promise to stay in the good fight — even if it’s one I didn’t choose. I have to be able to be trusted with trouble.
Can you be trusted with trouble, upsets, letdowns, hurt and pain? Do you call God a friend?
These are questions you will have to answer. I’ve been given a promise and God and I are in a relationship that is strong enough for me to say his words are good enough to stand on and step out on.
I want my sequence to be God’s sequence. I want to be on the “same page,” so I ask God daily to take hold of my life by taking full charge of all issues concerns and my affairs to handle as God sees fit even when I don’t understand or see where I am heading.
Seasons aren’t permanent; they change. I only ask to learn to adapt to all new orders. My strength is in my struggle and there are benefits for trouble, I promise.
The pressing on the outside only releases the frustration of the inside which is what I have learned is a part of the process. Test or trial, we must all endure at some point in this walk of life. I’m just glad to be doing it with the special folks God has brought into my life.
Thank you for your time in reading this. I pray it helped you in some way. God bless and keep you in his grace and mercy.
Justina House is a Hamlet native who lives in Wadesboro. Email her at justinahouse@gmail.com.
