A couple of years ago, I decided to take in an estate sale. The sale was held at a little rundown farm way back in the Uwharrie Mountains. The couple who once ran the farm had passed and their children didn’t have any interest in keeping it.
As usual, I was running late getting to the sale. Most all the good stuff had already been sold, so I decided just to stroll over the property. As I made my way through the overgrown property, I ran up on a little shed. The shed was covered in vines and small trees had started growing through the roof. I managed to clear a path to the shed and spotted a really old farm tractor parked under the shed.
The little tractor looked really rundown and looked like it had seen its better days. The tires were weather-cracked, allowing all the air to leak out. Rust had set in on the frame and the seat was missing. I wondered if this was something the family would sell, although it would take a lot of time and work to get it running again.
Sure, they wanted to sell the old tractor, and we worked out a price. Y’all ever bought anything you thought you probably didn’t need or were wasting your money on? Well, buying this little tractor was one of those deals, but now it was mine and I had to get it moved.
The next day, I borrowed a trailer and took off to try to load the little tractor. I had taken an air tank hoping the tires would hold enough air to winch the tractor on the trailer; for I knew it wouldn’t crank.
As I backed up to the shed, a family member of the previous owners came by to see if he could help. We finally got the tractor winched on the trailer. I asked how long had it been since the tractor had been cranked. He said he was 40 years old and he had never seen the tractor running. What had I got myself into?
As I started to leave, the young man said, “Wait, you forgot this old metal toolbox here in the back of the shed.” I had seen the box, but it was covered in dust and had a big padlock on it and I really didn’t figure they wanted to get rid of it. The guy then said they were going to bulldoze the property, plant pines trees on the land and needed to clear out everything. Well, he helped me load up the box and I thanked him and then started on down the road toward Rockingham.
When I got home, I took a chain and with my other tractor, dragged the little tractor and toolbox off the trailer. I covered both up with a tarp, hoping to start working on the tractor the next day.
Well, you know, things don’t always go as planned. It was six months before I finally got to work on the little tractor. First, I replaced all the tires and bought a new seat. I then steam-cleaned the entire tractor and knew I needed to get it running before I painted it.
Another few months went by and I had replaced the battery, all gas and water lines, steamed out the gas tank and poured new gas into the tank. Now, to see if’n it would start!
The little tractor’s motor turned over fine, but fire it would not. Finally, I got the engine to sputter a time or two but no matter what I did, it would not continue to run. I messed with that thing for weeks, but it just wouldn’t run.
One day I had just about given up on getting the tractor to start. I just happened to sit down on that old metal toolbox that I had gotten with the tractor deal. I thought to myself, “You have never cut the lock off that box to see what was inside.”
I took a set of bolt cutters and cut the lock right off. I opened up the lid and to my surprise, there were three large clay jugs with three X’s painted on the side of each one. All three were corked tightly at the top. Knowing those X’s could mean poison or moonshine, I carefully took a pair of pliers and uncorked one of the jugs and took a sniff.
To my surprise, it smelt just like the ‘shine my wife’s granddad they called “Pap” used to make. I started to take a little snort right then and there, but being a good Baptist I didn’t think it would be the Christian thing to do. But being a little frugal all my life, I didn’t want to waste this fine brew either.
I studied for a while and came up with the idea of pouring some of this here shine in the tractor’s gas tank. What could it hurt? It wouldn’t crank anyways.
After I poured in about a quart of ‘shine in the tank, I pulled the starter back and gave that engine a twirl. To my utter amazement, that tractor spit and sputtered, let out a big puff of smoke, fired right up and ran like a sewing machine.
Why, I never seen anything like it. I jumped on the seat, hooked the little tractor to the biggest disc harrow on the place and commenced to plowing. Why, that little tractor was throwing dirt everywhere and still wanted to go faster and faster.
In the meantime, my wife came out the back door and said our neighbor had gotten his D-28 bulldozer stuck and wanted to know if I had anything that could pull him out. Well, I just wrapped an old log chain around the little tractor’s drawbar and headed on over to his place and pulled that big dozer right out.
My neighbor couldn’t believe his eyes at what that little tractor of mine had just done. Why, he told everybody he saw about how much power my little tractor had.
Weren’t long if’n a neighbor needed something pulled out or moved, they called on me and my little tractor I had started calling Mabel.
Why, I remember one time, there came a lot of rain in our section of the country. Creeks were rising and rivers flooding. I had a neighbor who had built his house on the bend of a local creek. With all this water backing up from the bend of the creek, his place was a-floodin’ out. Well, I got word of it, I wrapped a long logging chain around Mabel’s drawbar, topped off her gas tank with some of that triple-X ‘shine and we took off down the road.
When we got to the bridge, I stopped and threw the end of the chain that had a hook on it into the creek. Mabel got herself all throttled up and away she went. Why, I want you to know she pulled every bend out of that creek and straightened that creek right out. Why, that neighbor never had any more trouble with floodin’ again.
You know, folks always ask me, “How is it that Mabel has so much power?” but I never let on because I figured they would get too much of a kick out of it if’n they knew about that there ‘shine!
J.A. Bolton is a member of the N.C. Storytelling Guild, the Anson County Writers’ Club, The Richmond County Historical Society, Story Spinners in Laurinburg and is first-place winner of the ninth-annual Bold-Faced Liars Showdown.